Permission to Evolve
We're on Substack.
Around this time two years ago, I was about to give birth to my second baby and bring him "home" to an Airbnb we had just moved into. We would move again when he was a month old. And again when he was six months old. Before I had kids my best friend once said, "I can't have a breakdown. I'm a mother." I assumed she was right but now I knew it for myself. There were always four little eyes watching me. Instead of a breakdown, which is what I really wanted, I gave myself silence. I needed to find a lot of it. So I started waking up a few hours before the rest of the house. In the quiet, I wrote a lot. I'm not sure why. But it felt like flowing out of mud and into the sea. So I kept going. Two years later, I'm still writing in the morning. Writing helps me squeeze every drop out of the joyful, and gives me something to lean on when hard things inevitably show up. It feels like I found a piece of the puzzle that is me. It feels like evolution.
I like the idea of evolving more than changing. To me, the latter implies that you did something wrong that then needs to be corrected. But what if “wrong” things are prerequisites for the futures we want most? What if the puzzle pieces of our truest selves are hidden in each of our experiences (even the messiest)? What if moving through them, sometimes slowly, is the whole point? This is how I've come to embrace my work. I once started a fashion brand, that turned into a store, that turned into a journal, that turned into this newsletter. Because of what I started building years ago, my writing has always had a place to live. And people to be with (the warmest wave to those of you who messaged me about What You Find. You helped me see myself as a writer. I am deeply grateful). Rallier is an evolution. Every iteration came with a puzzle piece.
This newsletter is now on Substack. Substack is a place where writing can be writing. There's less noise here. I'll still be on Instagram. It's where I've met so many of you! Instagram will be a place to wave when we see each other. Substack will be our place to sit down, pour a cup of something warm, and talk. We'll talk about things like evolution, and also things like how to give a special gift. Or an extra soothing soup recipe. Or the corduroy trousers on my wishlist. I am more than one thing (we all are). So my writing is too. I'll also introduce you to other people we can learn from. What this newsletter will always be about is searching for the puzzle pieces together.
Today happens to be a lunar eclipse, which brings the energy of a cycle ending. This can feel really heavy. But what I know for sure is that after the ending comes the evolution. Here’s to your next puzzle piece.
Thank you for being here!
With much love,